Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
