no, he came in my armpit
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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