What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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