Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
