I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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