is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize