plz talk dirty to me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
