How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
