the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Damn victory sex feels great
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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