dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show youâ€
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