3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
