i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize