Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
