pedialite and red bull = repair kit
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
