Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
you never un-have a 4some
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
