At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
