i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
