my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
