And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
