zippers are such a cool invention
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
