How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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