my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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