he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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