I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
