whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
