Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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