Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
