so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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