How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
