come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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