i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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