he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
