never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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