how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
do nipples grow back?
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