She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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