Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
