I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
