so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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