It was confusing and full of hummus
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize