Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
