my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
