I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
