Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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