omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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