Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize