Your face is a jimmy john
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
