I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
