I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
