literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize