i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
