I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
