Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
