So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
