I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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