well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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