You really coming over, don't trick.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
