people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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