stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
