Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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