She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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