So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
