the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
