I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
and i looked up. we had an audience...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
