Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
