how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
