Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
